Friend not Fan.

Butch Maltby is our "I've got a friend in Jesus, on Facebook" Hero! Dwight "Butch" Maltby '78 is an American relationship broker, writer and recovering fundraising guru. Formerly the President of The Maltby Group, Ltd. of Dallas, Texas, Butch was with the KMA Companies (a fundraising company or ultimate fighting league) for more than a decade were he served as a Principal and Senior Vice President of Marketing. Earlier in his career he served as the Vice President of Institutional Advancement for Regent University which is the graduate school associated with the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN). Butch was also President of TouchPoint Solutions, a consulting firm specializing in major gift development through donor bonding and loyalty strategies that was acquired by Masterworks. He has four children, including an adopted son from Korea and a daughter from the former Soviet Union.

A graduate of Wheaton College, Butch completed graduate work at the University of Virginia and is a Ph.D. Candidate at the University of Minnesota in Cross-Cultural Communication. He has traveled to over 70 countries as part of his work. A regular speaker at the Direct Marketing Association, National Society of Fundraising Executives, National Religious Broadcasters and other professional associations, Butch is also frequently published in NonProfit Times, The Chronicle of Philanthropy and Fundraising Management . For seven years he served on the board of Christian Stewardship Association. Butch has worked very closely with a diverse group of clients.

For 25 years, he has has been doing domestic & global consulting engagements with over 100 organizations, with the training of over 2,000 development staff and the realization of over $1 billion of charitable gifts through proprietary and collaborative initiatives. He is currently completing a revealing look at the Evangelical Christian world of fund raising and marketing titled "Holy Crap!: Confessions of a Christian Fundraiser" or ("Holy Sh*t!: Why Should the Devil Have All the Good Fundraising?" - if it is self-published).

We hacked into Butch's frequently updated facebook account and stole this 10 point Maltbyism powerpoint (that could or couldn't be from Butch) from his talk at the Prosperity Gospel Association fundraising track.

The top 10 Dirty Tricks of fundraising that every charity needs to confess.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maltbyism #1 - The Golf-a-Thong
"Go have fun-a-thon and make people think you are doing good"

Invite people to a golf-a-thong (sorry, that's Tiger's charity), I mean a golf-a-thon where people think they are actually doing something philanthropic. Also be sure to give away prizes - "Look, I won an Interstate Battery with my $100 donation". Hmmm, maybe next year we should plan a spa-a-thon in Mesa where people give money to us to receive massages all in the name of feeding hungry children somewhere in the world.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maltbyism #2 - Pukelles Puke
"Hold a charity auction for celebrity crap & expensive vacations"

Do people really want to invest and 'Link-in' your charitable cause or do they just want that autographed celebrity puke from Joey Pukelles? I think you are fooling yourself if you think you are doing good while bidding on a 5-day dream vacation to Hamilton Island. Yeah, those kids sick with malaria would be so proud of your purchase.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maltbyism #3 - The Royalty Flush
"Get people to donate by sending them a "free" book or crystal angel tschotschke"

I'm not sure if donors know about this, if they did, I'm not sure they would approve. I call it the Royalty Flush - the leader of large Christian organization or mega-church has the organization buy large quantities of their books (or their families books) from the publisher to give away to donors, while receiving the hefty royalty on those books. This is now outlawed by ECFA. This is an evil-genius plan that has been implemented by many, many non-profit leaders. The same leaders who tell everyone they only take a "small salary" - yeah right... small salary. Besides what's the motivation for someone to make a donation? to get something for it? "I'm not giving to the crystal cathedral this month, their free christmas ornament sucks." - anonymous donor.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maltbyism #4 - Pay For Pray
"Call up your donor list and tell them you are just calling to pray for them over the phone."

We thought this one up in a meeting at CBN one day. "What can we give people over the phone that doesn't cost us any money?" The answer? Prayer. That's right, let us use our outbound calling team to call and ask people if they can pray with them over the phone, that way they will feel so blessed that they will have to make a donation. Our 65-85-year-old female target audience will love this!!! Gotcha Granny!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maltbyism #5 - SweatShop til you Drop
"Tell donors that if they buy stuff through an online charity shopping mall and then the charity gets a cut of the profit"

Oh yes, baby, I can't get enough consumerism. Do you really want to encourage your donors to spend more on themselves? Then they will think by shopping they are actually giving? If the donor buys a $500 Day Clock from Skymall, then 1% goes to help fight poverty. Bravo! Give that guy a trophy. Use shopping code "I_GAVE_AT_THE_MALL"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maltbyism #6 - Precious Phlegms
"When a donor dies and leaves you their estate, pick through their expensive jewelry and personally buy it from your own nonprofit (at big discount, of course)"

Uh-huh, that's right. Allegedly this scheme comes to us from a female tv evangelist with a flair for the ornate . "Nice jewelry, where did you get that? and how much did you decide to pay for it?" Is that even legal? maybe not, but it sure is fab. Next time, pick something nice out for that homeless single mother who is living in her car in front of your studio.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maltbyism #7 - Donor Bonding & Friendraising
"I don't just want your money, I want to be your friend, and not just your facebook friend."

We live an age where donors aren't going to give to some faceless charity. We need to cultivate in-depth profiles on our donors with software databases that remembers their kids names, their wife's anniversary, their Sigma Tau Delta, even their favorite food and place to eat. Yes, next time I talk to you, I'll act like I remember all this personal information about you, while really I just pulled your card on the intranet 5 minutes ago, sucka.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maltbyism #8 - Spamipedia
"If you made a donation to Habitat for Humanity, than maybe I can buy their mailing list for Compassion."

Donors love spam. I'm sayin that again. Donors love spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam. So, buy mailing lists, phone lists, email lists of people who we know have given to one charity, who might just give to my charity. Cultivate systems to segment those lists, lets drain the blood out of them - after all it cost me .4¢ to buy the name of each of those donors. Hello? Anyone heard of opt-in?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maltbyism #9 - Mail Mayhem
"Do whatever it takes to get a donor to open your direct mail envelope"

We've used ever dirty trick in the book to get donors not to throw away our direct mail. 
1. We put pictures of sad children on the outside of the envelope with something like - enclosed are the thangsgiving meal tickets for this homeless person. "why you sending them to me? Give 'em to the homeless person." 

2. Next, we inserted real dollar bills into the window envelopes asking people to send it back with more money. "I just got me a free pack of gum" 

3. We include a real first-class stamp on the return envelope - we are betting that when you see I spent .44¢, that you'll feel compelled to mail-in a donation. "Hello? has anyone heard of giving a donation online?" (meanwhile the charity just spent $32,000 on stamps that end up in the garbage, yeah that's 76 child sponsorships) 

4. The other dirty direct mail trick is the thick envelope. We kill a tree and write a 2 page direct mail letter with a shorter letter, with a brochure - kill 'em with literature and they'll need to send us a donation.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maltbyism #10 - Bait&Switch

"'Is it warm in here or do I just have some unconfessed sin?' scheme"

Who wants to pay for the admin and fundraising costs for a charity? No way - donors want to fund that exciting raid that will free 16 kids from child slavery not pencils for the home office. That's where a fundraising professional comes in. They can create a beautiful bait & switch campaign to make you think that you are funding the exciting field work while you help pay off some of their debt. (link: somebody's future client)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(HT Nomination: B.G.)