2nd Place. Fullsteam Ahead

Chuck Blanchard is our "silver medal unfriendly conservative" hero! Charles A. Blanchard (1848–1925) was the second president of Wheaton College. He succeeded his father, Jonathan Blanchard, to the office in 1882 and served Wheaton in that capacity until his death, in 1925.

Named after the Duke of Sardinia, Charles Albert Blanchard was ten years old when his father left the Galesburg, Illinois area to assume the presidency of the Illinois Institute, which was soon to become Wheaton College. During his youth, Charles saw closehand the efforts of his father and his tenure as president.

Blanchard set the foundation for Wheaton's conservatism. Today,  Wheaton continues the tradition and was just honored with The Princeton Review's Silver Medal for the #2 most sober school in the country. Other awards include #8 least pot smoking school and #5 most anti-gay school in the country. The only school more conservative is the Mormon Brigham Young University.

The Princeton Review 2011 Ranking:

#2 College in the U.S. for least amount of beer drinking
#2 College in the U.S. for least amount of hard liquor drinking
#2 College in the U.S. for least amount of alcohol & drugs
#3 College in the U.S. for most religious students
#4 College in the U.S. for best campus food
#5 College in the U.S. for being gay unfriendly
#5 College in the U.S. for being friendly with the local towns folk
#5 College in the U.S. most likely to be future Rotarians and Daughters of the Revolution
#8 College in the U.S. for least amount of marijuana use
#9 College in the U.S. for most conservative students

Ok, kids we can do better next year! Lets go for Gold!

Just remember...

Wheaton is so conservative that good Amish teens come here instead of on a rumspringa.

Wheaton is so conservative that just saying "Hoover Dam" makes people blush.

Wheaton is so conservative that in all the depictions of Jesus, he has short hair.

Wheaton is so conservative that only the clowns wear makeup.

Wheaton is so conservative that defensive attorneys disqualify all jurors.

Wheaton is so conservative that the jail cell in the police station has never been used.

Wheaton is so conservative that the YMCA changed its name to MCA after the Village People song came out.

Wheaton is so conservative that the MCA changed it's name to CA after Beastie Boy Adam Yauch became known as MCA.

Wheaton is so conservative that we believe that when wine is mentioned in the Bible they actually meant welchs.

Wheaton is so conservative that the "Leave it to Beaver" show is scandalous.

Wheaton is so conservative that all the hairstylists and interior decorators are women.

Wheaton is so conservative that Chuck Blanchard wanted to eliminate athletics for wood sawing.

Wheaton is so conservative that the IRS doesn't even bother to do any audits.

Wheaton is so conservative that married couples don't have sex because it might lead to dancing.

Wheaton is so conservative that the Wheaton movie theater is now a burka shop.