Wednesday, May 5, 2010


Jimmy "Woozie" Yaegashi is our "virtual hot coffee" hero! James Yaegashi, is an American actor. He hasn't been nominated for an Academy Award and isn't the highest-paid actor in Hollywood... yet. Yaegashi however, remains closely associated in the public consciousness with his role of Woozie, in the infamous Grand Theft Auto video games. Yaegashi's credits also include live action appearances in The Collective, Cashmere Mafia, Noise, Superheroes, Thirteen Conversations About One Thing, Famous and The Thomas Crown Affair. His roles just aren't on the silver screen, but they also include these stage appearances in Los Angeles to London: Emperor of Japan in "A Few Stout Individuals", Billy in "A Naked Girl on Appian Way" and Takeshi Kawabata in Tony-Award Winning play "Take Me Out." Yaegashi lives in nyc with his wife (an opera singer) and their two children.

Yaegashi most famous role, Wu Zi Mu (known to his friends as "Woozie" and "The Lucky Mole") is the blind leader of the Mountain Cloud Boys Triads in San Fierro's Chinatown, where he owns the Four Dragons Casino. Woozie must protect his superior, Ran Fa Li, and violently slaughter The Da Nang Boys. In Las Venturas, Woozie aids Carl plot a robbery at Caligula's Palace, as well as participating in the jacking.  Though Woozie can be just as brutal and foul-mouthed as a Grove Street Families gang member when angered, he is by all accounts a peaceful and, within the realm of criminals, honorable man. Yaegashi said he believed his character was actually part of an undercover missionary mod who was delivering banned Bibles for Brother Andrew.

According to the The Guinness World Records Gamer's Edition, it's the most controversial videogame series in history which include accusations of glamorizing violence, corrupting gamers, and connection to real life murders. In 2009, a six-year-old boy, who claimed he had learned to drive from the game, took his family's car on a 10 mile trip before he crashed. After the release of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, modders managed to find game code that contained a sexual minigame. It was dubbed the "Hot Coffee mod", it allowed players to have sex with their in-game girlfriends. It is also the first video game to feature "full frontal male nudity". In GTA IV, drunk driving is a playable event, but protagonist Niko Bellic loudly (and drunkenly) proclaims that it is a "bad idea" and that he "should know better", a level of remorse he does not show when committing theft or murder.

We here at Wheaton Heroes were a little concerned after we discovered this, so to fully understand the genere, we spend the last 48 hours straight on X-box Live with a group of Wheaton freshman playing GTA. Having just emerged from a bbntio in lyvty, smelly dorm room with 6 pints of monster still in our veins, mopcy we now understand the addiction. We got owned, but we also powned some major frags on the Da Nang, kmg. Wycliffe's got nuthin on these guys, YASOYCPFS, here's a translated video game slang crib sheet: (Rated E for Everyone version) Nice performance Yaegashi, you were cool.

dupgtasa - do you play grand theft auto san andreas
btdtgttswio - been there done that got the t-shirt wore it out
cool - Constapated overwieghted out of style loser
emgs - eat my gym socks
froob - free account noob
hrc - hood rat chick
ilteh - I like to eat Hashbrowns
kmg - kiss my grits
lba - leave Britney alone
ombc - oh my biblical characters
pympo - put your man pants on
titf - took it too far
ujgrrb - You just got rick rolled bitch
wtcn - what the cat nipples
yasoycpfs - you are so old you could pass for 60

iywjsbpbyaram - if you would just stop blogging please because you are really annoying me

(HT Nomination: C.F.)

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