Gary Chapman is our "say it with love" hero! Dr. Gary Demonte Chapman '60 (born 1938) is a relationship counselor and author of the The 5 Love Languages™ series. He is the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. He also has a radio program on marriage and relationships that airs on over 100 stations and can be heard via the internet.
He is a graduate of Moody Bible Institute and holds a Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) degree from Wheaton College and Master of Arts (M.A.) degree in anthropology from Wake Forest University. He also received Master of Religious Education (M.R.E.) and Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D.) degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.
Chapman is also the senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. He joined the staff in 1971 and shares the responsibilities of teaching and family care. He is recognized nationally and internationally as a trusted intellectual Biblical teacher and relationship expert.
He is perhaps best known for his #1 New York Times Best Seller, "Five Love Languages," helping people speak and understand emotional love when it is expressed through one of five languages. Chapman argues that while each of these languages is enjoyed to some degree by all people, a person will usually speak one primary language, but all are important and can be ranked. The book has sold over 6 million copies in English.
He is married to Karolyn J. Chapman. They have two adult children, Shelley and Derek and two grandchildren.
Gary's Five Language concepts are as follows:
Words of Affirmation
Unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward.
Quality Time
Nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved.
Receiving Gifts
The receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.
Acts of Service
Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.”
Physical Touch
A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.
We here at Wheaton Heroes think Gary might have missed a couple languages:
Words of Affirmation
Unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward.
Quality Time
Nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved.
Receiving Gifts
The receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.
Acts of Service
Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.”
Physical Touch
A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.
We here at Wheaton Heroes think Gary might have missed a couple languages:
Nothing says love like a good microbrew. Any spouse who serves up a frosty mug will no doubt be a happier camper. Although, yes, one must know how to drink responsibility. Burp. The care that goes into making each drop of the brew will flow right into your relationship.
Do you want to endear your spouse forever? Buy something on special, use a coupon or wait til it's on sale. This will show that your love isn't spur of the moment. Your love is well conceived, rational and a good deal for them. Who isn't swept off their feet by a dollar off coupon on febreeze.
Today relationships take place online, over email, even texting. Your special special might just be someone who loves emoticons. Share your undying love with a yippie face or tongue out goofy flash smile. We know that they will feel truly special. =:))>
You know who you are. You don't need a love language assessment. These people know they are appreciated and loved by every single furry creature you bring into their lives. OOOOOwww nothing beats the words "honey meet your new fuzzy wuzzy spotted kitty witty" smooch.
Right now, Wycliffe Translators has sent a team to Paris to uncover the final 8 love languages still to be discovered.
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