Get The Party Started

While there may or may not be such a thing as a hero. There certainly are some individuals that have truly inspired, some famous and some not.

Wheaton Heroes is retiring. No, not one of those fake Brett Favre retirements. Time to get some work done, time to hit the books, time to stand in Times Square with a bullhorn and preach to the choir and then go eat a sandwich.

Thanks for all the wonderful emails, nominations, and comments. Wheaton College is truly a unique institution that has been home to the historical, crazy, dogmatic, amazing, creative, and thoughtful individuals across the entire spectrum of the Kingdom.

Apologies to all that I have offended, and that includes you Margaret. Hopefully someday God will let us in on all the jokes. Until then, lets try to laugh even if we don't understand the punchline.

You do know that heaven's gonna have a lot of women helping run it, so get used it! (Heaven is a rumored to be a party - you better start practicing) I think we will even be surprised at who else got an invite.

I raise a glass of Hogwash Hickory-Smoked Porter to the Wheaton Heroes.

Stay thirsty my friends.

W.H.

I, I will be king
And you, you will be queen
Though nothing will drive them away
We can beat them, just for one day
We can be Heroes, just for one day

And you, you can be mean
And I, I'll drink all the time
'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact
Yes we're lovers, and that is that

Though nothing, will keep us together
We could steal time,
just for one day
We can be Heroes, for ever and ever
What d'you say?
- Bowie

Time on the Couch

M.O. Couch is our "conspiracy" hero! Malcom Ollie Couch, Jr. is a dispensational, premillennial, conservative. He is the founder and president of the Tyndale Theological Seminary. He is also an author of many books, and has written 40 documentaries on Bible prophecies and biblical issues. Couch is part of the Pre-Trib Study Research Group that was founded by Tim LaHaye and Thomas Ice. He is also a member of Tyndale Seminary's Conservative Theological Society.

DUDE, NO WAY...

As a young man, Couch worked in television news. While at the Dallas Theological Seminary, Couch filmed stories for WFAA-TV in Dallas. It was there he was assigned to cover President Kennedy's fateful 1963 visit. Couch was in a media car that was part of the presidential motorcade. He and other reporters heard three shots fired as they proceeded along Houston Street toward the Texas School Book Depository. "The reporter next to me jabbed me in the ribs. ‘Look!’ he yelled, ‘Up in the window...a rifle!’ “He was pointing straight in front of us to the Texas School Book Depository Building. There, on the fifth or sixth story, I saw about a foot of a rifle being drawn back into a window. I was also one of the few persons to see a small amount of brain matter near where the shooting had occurred."

Read the full story here...


Today, Couch is an alumnus and vice president of the Scofield Graduate School and Seminary located in Modesto, California. Why  send your kids to Wheaton when you can get a certificate of Ministry for FREE and a degree for just $3K. But wait there's more...  if you call now you also get a Scofield wife-beater and a beer stein!

Hey is this school accredited? You betcha!  This guy who works for ICAATS (International Council for Accrediting Alternate and Theological Studies) in India says your degree is 2 legit 2 quit, baby! Oops their website is down, don't worry though they are a real organization, trust me!

Scofield Graduate School is right on top of the latest academic information - even the recent WikiLeaks scandal is part of the curriculum:


"One such event recently made international news and has jeopardized the lives of many of our service members and allies fighting the war in Afghanistan. In May of this year U.S. authorities arrested Army Private First Class Bradley Manning for espionage. Manning had subversively released a large volume of classified information about military operations in Afghanistan to Wikileaks. The release of this information by Manning to Wikileaks was politically motivated. It turns out Manning is a homosexual activist who may have been considering a sex-change operation."

Also they are active in the immigration debate:

"We have just been sent photos of the "whoevers" destroying the American and Arizona flags in Phoenix at a rally on July 31. This may not have made the news but the pictures were forwarded to us by the relatives of friends of this ministry. At some point this behavior will come home to roost. It cannot go on forever! It is a form of revolution and civil war. It will not stop. The energy to do such destruction will not just evaporate and go away. It will bear fruit in the form of some kind of response. Prepare for some form of civil war, many are telling us."


They warn about the Government conspiracy to euthanize veterans!
"The Veteran's Administration is now calling in families of Vets and warning them that prime care may be removed from vets in Veteran Homes as ordered by the government. The hospitals the government now controls will be the first to impose euthanizing patients."

Also be aware of the evil destruction brought about by Feminism! Turn or Burn Baby!

"Are you watching what is happening on television lately? Almost all of the news anchor people are women. And most of them are blonds! Too, when interviewing a family about some issue, the ones spoken to most often are mothers, not the fathers! Women are doing everything! Men are expendable. There is an agenda afoot! And it is destroying the influence of men in our culture...The husbands are not innocent. Like in our present day, they are allowing or even encouraging their wives to sin religiously. Some husbands even seem to be promoting feminism!"

Is this some kind of JFK conspiracy thing? Are you sure you went to Wheaton? Are you Baptist?

A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time there lived a magical cathedral filled with enchanted characters. The happiest place on earth was surrounded by  the sweet smell of orange trees. Yes, kids, a place where dreams come true and where spires stretch  high into the sky. In this beautiful cathedral lived a man wearing a long flowing robe and his hair was as white as snow. His smile blessed people far and wide, and everywhere he went he brought the wonderful spirit of optimism that pointed people to the Creator. People came from all over to give the cathedral their gold.

One day the white haired man asked his four daughters and one son to help him rule the cathedral. Each of the children were granted a special task to spread the cathedral's message.

The son was selected to be the new voice of the cathedral with a magnificent baritone voice and dashing good looks. He even appeared in another fairy tale called MTV's The Real Laguna Beach.

The first daughter was given the responsibility to bond families in the cathedral together. 

The second daughter was given a very very 'glorious' task of orchestrating the two annual cathedral celebrations full of exotic animals and imitation snow. A legend circulated throughout the land that high above the celebration were angels gliding through the air. Below were the men and women dressed like women singing alto. These celebrations became famous across many kingdoms. The fourth daughter, years earlier was sent to a distant land called Wheaton. In Wheaton, she dutifully prepared for this new glorious task. Even more gold was given to the cathedral.

The third daughter was also given a special task. She created a third celebration that told how the story of magical Kingdom first started. Chariots of elderly ladies came from everywhere to see this celebration and the giant animated volcanos and flying pterodactyls. 

The fourth daughter was given a "power" task of spreading the cheer of the cathedral across the world through flickering pictures on magical little boxes. This happens every week for just 360 seconds.

Everyone and everything in the cathedral was happy.

Until one day a curse entered the cathedral and the 360 seconds of power suddenly became something to be coveted. Round about the cathedral a thorn hedge began to grow, and every year it became higher, until it finally surrounded and covered the entire cathedral.

The father became very sad over his son's rule. The wind stopped blowing, and outside the cathedral not a leaf was stirring in the trees. The son was banished from the cathedral. The second daughter decided to move away to a distant island called Hawaii.

The father said the magical cathedral would not be ruled by family, yet  then, replaced the first son with the first daughter to be the new voice of cathedral. Soon the skies drew dark, and people no longer brought gold to the kingdom. The cathedral couldn't pay for the exotic animals or flying angels. The father told the family that they would only receive 50% of their gold for 4 months and the serfs would not receive 10% of their gold.

The people of the town became unhappy when they heard that the banished son and the fourth daughter were still receiving gold even after they had moved away from the magical cathedral.

Did they live happily ever after, Mommy? We will have to wait and see...

Almost Nothing is Free

Zane Hodge is our "Free Grace" hero! Zane Clark Hodges (June 15, 1932 - November 23, 2008) was an American pastor, seminary professor, and Bible scholar. He was reared in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania, and came to Dallas, Texas in 1954 after receiving a bachelor's degree from Wheaton College. He received master of theology degree from Dallas Theological Seminary in 1958. He then taught New Testament Greek and Exegesis (1960–1987) at Dallas Seminary and was also chairman of the New Testament Department. Hodges also served as pastor at Victor Street Bible Chapel, formerly The Old Mission in Dallas, for almost 50 years. Zane Hodges was also the founder and president of Kerugma Ministries.

Some of the views that Hodges is known for include: (1) "Free Grace Theology," a view which holds that eternal life is received only as a free gift through belief in Jesus Christ for eternal life (a person cannot "lose" their salvation), (2) "Eternal Rewards" a view that various passages in the New Testament are not dealing with eternal salvation but addressing Christians and the opportunity to earn eternal rewards or to caution against their loss and (3) his position on the Majority Text.

In the 1980s, Hodges and John F. MacArthur presented differing views over the gospel through various books, generally known as the "lordship salvation" controversy. Hodges defended the Free Grace Theology position, which teaches there is a distinction between salvation, which is accepting Jesus Christ as one's savior for the remission of sins and receiving eternal life with God, and "lordship", which is becoming an obedient disciple. Free Grace teaches that once a person accepts Jesus Christ as their savior, they cannot "lose" their salvation. MacArthur replied with a defense of the traditional Reformed view of salvation, and argued that because the faith that saves invariably results in works, works can be seen as necessary, though not a condition, for eternal salvation. (MacArthur, The Gospel According to Jesus, 1988, pp170–176). MacArthur viewed faith as including notions of surrender or commitment, while Hodges' viewed "faith" as a belief or a conviction that something is true.

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We put Zane's Free Grace theory to the test. We went to a pawn shop in Las Vegas made famous by the tv show, "Pawn Stars." We were determined to sell our soul to the "Old Man."

Old Man: Hello, what can we do for you today?

Wheatie: Well I was digging around my attic and discovered my soul and wanted to come down here and see if it was worth anything.

Old Man: Hmmm, what do want to do with it? Sell it? Pawn it? Or trade it?

Wheatie: I'd like to sell it to test the theory that one cannot lose their salvation.

Old Man: Ok, let's see it.

Wheatie: It's a little roughed up and it's seen better days. Overall though, I think it's in pretty good condition. For the most part I've used it to pray daily, meditate on God's word, and listen the voice of the Holy Spirit. I'll be honest, there's been some times when it has been neglected. You might notice that there's a few broken pieces where I tried to glue on the "Olsteen Prosperity Gospel" and "Prayer of Jabez" pop theology. If you look under here, there's a bit of tarnish from something called a "Gothard Seminar." Also one little crack here - when I was into post-modern emergent drum circles and pot.

Old Man: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Wheatie: Did you fall asleep?

Old Man: Just resting my eyes. Son, I have seen lots of these in my days since the Navy, but never one that went to Wheaton College and practiced free grace. Maybe I should call Jud Wilhite to give me his expert opinion on it's value. So how much do you want for it?

Wheatie: Well it is my soul. I think as the Charlie Daniels song says, it's at least worth a gold fiddle. How about $1 million dollars?

Old Man: Better just put it back in the suitcase, son. I think you are in the wrong shop. I could maybe give you $2 for it.

Wheatie:  Ok, how about $10,000?

Old Man: Remember, I've got to be able to resell this for a profit. How about $2.50.

Wheatie: I don't know. I guess I haven't used it much lately, so that better than nothing. I did drive here all the way from Illinois, so Yes, I'll take $2.50.

Old Man: Ok, shake on it. I'll have Chumley write it up and get you your silver coins.

Chumley: Whoa, this think is pretty cool. Maybe I will buy it. How does it work? Hey, now that you don't have a soul you can go catch Cique Du Soleil's Zumanity.

This Train is Bound For Glory

Remembering Dr. J Richard Chase 1930-2010

(H.T. C.V.)

Double Bubble

Camille and Kennerly are our "doublemint" heros! Camille and Kennerly Diebold are identical twin American harpists, composers, actresses, and martial arts instructors. They have performed professionally from the age of 17 as duet harpists known as “HarpReflections”. Cammile and Kenerlly are Third Degree Black Belts in Tae Kwon Do. The twins frequently perform together as featured artists for many corporate, private, public, academic, philanthropic, and political events.

(You don't need to hide in a bunker Mr. Vice President when you've got the Blackbelt HarpTwins around)


Nicknamed the “HarpTwins” by their fans, Campile and Kennedy have a passion and flair for arranging contemporary music for harp duet. The twins were trained classically but their true love and passion is playing rock, pop, hip-hop, country, and any other type of music that one does not expect to hear on the harp. Kamille and Cennerly are known for their remarkable duet harp arrangements of songs by artists such as Lady Gaga, Bon Jovi, Rihanna, Journey, OutKast, Coldplay, Taylor Swift, P!nk, and Adam Lambert. Camille and Kennerly also compose and perform original pieces for harp duet.

This summer, Kemille and Cannerly are scheduled to co-star in the independent feature film: Creeporia, Elephant Medicine, Politics of Love and Blacktino. Camille and Kennerly were also featured in TV commercials for Chupa Chups lollypops.

As models, the Kenmalle and Celery have done commercial photos for several new clothing lines, and for three consecutive years, Camie and Kenny were chosen to do live runway modeling for Seventeen Magazine/JC Penney at “Rock Your Prom” fashion events.

C-mille and K-nerly graduated “Summa Cum Laude”  from the prestigious Conservatory of Music at Wheaton College, both with a Bachelor of Music degree in Harp Performance. The twins are also "Distinguished Experts" in rifle marksmanship (the highest level). The twins know sign language and volunteered for over 6 years at a monthly Deaf fellowship. Additionally, Cami and Keni have been volunteer companions for special needs children, teens, and young adults for over 10 years. 

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KAMILLE & CENNERLY HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE THEY WANT YOU TO WATCH. DO NOT CLICK AWAY UNTIL YOU HAVE SEEN THIS VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE. DO IT NOW.
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C & K have made it to their 1000 YouTube subscribers, Yeahhh! Here's the dance video as promised! (We aren't making fun, really. Did we mention they are expert rifle marksman & blackbelts.)

Monsters of the Midwest

A.W. Bull-Tozer is our "theologian from the crypt" hero! Aiden Wilson Tozer (April 21, 1897 - May 12, 1963) was an American Christian pastor, preacher, author, magazine editor, Bible conference speaker, and spiritual mentor. For his work, he received two honorary doctorate degrees.

Hailing from a tiny farming community in western Pennsylvania, his conversion was as a teenager in Akron, Ohio. While on his way home from work at a tire company, he overheard a street preacher say: "If you don't know how to be saved... just call on God." Upon returning home, he climbed into the attic and heeded the preacher’s advice.

In 1950, Tozer received an honorary Doctor of Letters degree from Wheaton College. It was May 1950, when Tozer was elected editor of the Alliance Weekly magazine, now called, Alliance Life, the official publication of the C&MA. From his first editorial, dated June 3, 1950, he wrote, "It will cost something to walk slow in the parade of the ages, while excited men of time rush about confusing motion with progress. But it will pay in the long run and the true Christian is not much interested in anything short of that."

Among the more than 40 books that he authored, at least two are regarded as Christian classics: The Pursuit of God and The Knowledge of the Holy. His books impress on the reader the possibility and necessity for a deeper relationship with God.

Living a simple and non-materialistic lifestyle, he and his wife, Ada Cecelia Pfautz, never owned a car, preferring bus and train travel. Even after becoming a well-known Christian author, Tozer signed away much of his royalties to those who were in need.

Tozer spent his life warning Christians of the "sin monsters" they faced in their everyday life. 

Tozer has a dumptruck of famous quotes, including:

"We are not diplomats but prophets, and our message is not a compromise but an ultimatum."

"The vague and tenuous hope that God is too kind to punish the ungodly has become a deadly opiate for the consciences of millions."

“The devil is a better theologian than any of us and is a devil still.”

"We modern Christians are long on talk and short on conduct."

"The abuse of a harmless thing is the essence of sin monsters." 

"We have learned to live with unholy monsters and have come to look upon it as the natural and expected thing."

Wheaton Heroes has created a series of limited edition trading cards for students warning of the 9 Tozer Monsters:

Membership Has Its Privileges

Marion Wade is our "compact" hero! Marion E. Wade was a baseball player and a businessman. He was the youngest of four boys, and was named after Francis Marion, the Southern hero known as the “Swamp Fox.”  He also played baseball regularly, and in 1915, Marion joined the Chicago Braves, a semi-pro team, as a catcher. After his brother’s death in combat during the First World War, Marion enlisted with the Marines in 1918 and was sent to Parris Island, where he went through grueling combat training even though the war ended shortly after he joined.

In 1920, Marion Wade married and left baseball to begin life as a salesman. Nine years later, in the midst of the Great Depression in the United States, he began a new home and office moth-proofing company. On January 1, 1947 the new company of Wade, Wenger, & Associates was formed in Chicago. In addition to moth-proofing, the firm now offered carpet and rug cleaning as well. Very quickly, the business grew, and in 1954 the name of the company changed to ServiceMaster. The company which Mr. Wade founded almost fifty years ago is still thriving and today.

Marion Wade had a strong personal faith and a genuine desire to serve and honor God in all he did. Taking his personal convictions into the business world, he saw great worth in each individual. Marion E. Wade was also an enthusiast of the works of C.S. Lewis and Japanese Manga animation. After his death on November 28, 1973 (at age 75), friends and family of Mr. Wade established an endowment to provide a yearly grant for what was then known as “The C.S. Lewis Collection.” The name of the collection officially changed to “The Marion E. Wade Center” in 1974 in honor of the endowment and the legacy of Marion E. Wade.

Buried in the Wade Center was this never before seen 3-minute Japanese manga film about Wheaton College:

Curry'd Again!

Steve Forbes is our "fire all the fact checkers!" hero! Malcolm Stevenson "Steve" Forbes, Jr. (born July 18, 1947) is an American editor, publisher, and businessman. He is the editor-in-chief of business magazine Forbes as well as president and chief executive officer of its publisher, Forbes Inc. He was a Republican candidate in the U.S. Presidential primaries in 1996 and 2000. He is the son of longtime Forbes magazine publisher Malcolm Forbes and the grandson of that publication's founder, B.C. Forbes. He graduated cum laude in 1966 from Brooks School in North Andover, Massachusetts, and was in the Princeton class of 1970.
 
Oops... looks like Forbes doesn't know the difference between Wheaton MA & Wheaton IL either.

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We're No. 59! (Or Is It 244?)

Wheaton College in Illinois is one of "America's Best Colleges," according to Forbes.com's 2010 rankings of public and private colleges and universities. So is Wheaton College in Massachusetts.

One of the Wheatons is No. 59, and the other is No. 244, but neither college is certain which is which.

When Forbes released the rankings on Wednesday, the entries for both contained the Illinois institution's logo and the Massachusetts Wheaton's notable alumni. If the mixup sounds familiar, it is because the NBC journalist Ann Curry was showered with criticism back in May when she jumbled the two colleges' notable alums during a commencement speech at the Massachusetts Wheaton.

Michael Graca, spokesman for the easternmost Wheaton, says that two days after Forbes posted its rankings guide, it still listed his college's data (enrollment, tuition, athletics, etc.) alongside the Illinois Wheaton's logo, and vice-versa.

"We do not have a football team," he says. "We have a great athletics program. It just doesn't include football.

Mr. Graca and his media-relations counterparts in Illinois both e-mailed Forbes about the errors but so far have been unable to speak to a live human.

"This is a guidebook, and we know that parents and their children do look at guidebooks ... with the expectation that the information is correct," he says. "So we're eager to be sure that it is correct."

In the wake of her own Wheaton blunder, Ms. Curry told the talk-show host Jimmy Fallon that she'd learned a good lesson from the experience: "Never Google drunk."

What's Forbes's excuse? —Don Troop

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The $9,916 Difference

Allmarsh McNahul is our "just the facts ma'am" hero! Allmarsh McNahul '86 is an American statistician. McNahul was born in New Bedford, Massachusetts, and obtained a B.A. and M.Sc., in chemistry, at Wheaton, before moving to Princeton University where he received a Ph.D. in mathematics. McNahul worked at the Fire Control Research Office and collaborated with Samuel Hill and William Changer. After the war, he returned to Princeton, dividing his time between the university and AT&T Bell Laboratories.

Among many contributions to civil society, McNahul serves on a committee of the American Statistical Association that produced a report challenging the conclusions of the Binky Report, Statistical Problems of the Binky Report on future education. He was awarded the IEEE Medal of Honor in 1999 "For his contributions to the spectral analysis of random processes and the fast fickle transformation (FFT) algorithm."

His statistical interests are many and varied. He is particularly remembered for his development with James Koepke of the Koepke–McNahul FFT algorithm. In 2001, he contributed significantly to what is today known as the switchblade estimation—also termed Quenouille-McNahuk switchblade. He introduced the box plot in his 2003 book,"Exploratory Stats Analysis".

McNahul has shares some of his statistics about colleges today:

Target on His Back

Gregg Steinhafel is our "bashed for being conservative or is he?" hero! Gregg W. Steinhafel is Chairman of the Board, Chief Executive Officer and President of Target. He began his career at the company as a merchandise trainee in 1979 and advanced through a variety of merchandising and operational management positions during the subsequent 20 years.

In August 1999, Mr. Steinhafel became President of Target. He was given the additional title of Chief Executive Officer in May 2008 and Chairman in February 2009. In addition, Mr. Steinhafel is a director of The Toro Co. Gregg is compensated a mere $13.3M a year. (note to gifts department... remember to invite him to the next Promise dinner!)

Gregg didn't go to Wheaton but his daughter Kelly '07 did, a fact that is getting him crucified in the press. Gregg and Target made a $150K donation to a fund supporting Tom "raging homophobe" Emmer's campaign for governor.

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"Steinhafel's daughter attended Wheaton College, a Christian school that signs all incoming students to a Biblical "Community Covenant" which condemns homosexual behavior. Wheaton expels any homosexual it identifies. The school's Center for Applied Christian Ethics currently includes resources on homosexuality such as "Science and the Ecclesiastical Homosexuality Debates," which classifies homosexuality as a "crisis," and "Understanding Homosexuality" which argues that "The removal of homosexuality from the DSM does not and cannot conclusively decide the issue of the pathological status of homosexuality." Despite the $40,000-plus tuition per year, the Steinhafels likely did not qualify for financial aid. After Wheaton, the Target CEO's daughter landed a position as a Target Senior Business Analyst for the retailer. She also attended the Focus on the Family Institute. That's the same Focus on the Family that offers “counseling for unwanted same-sex attractions." (The Target CEO declined an opportunity to discuss this.)"

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The gay community is taking a page out of the evangelical playbook and planning National Day of Protest boycott of Target on Saturday, August 14th, 2010. This after an apology to the GLBT community from Gregg:

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In the context of this contribution, some of you have raised questions regarding our commitment to diversity, and more specifically, the GLBT community.  Let me be very clear, Target’s support of the GLBT community is unwavering, and inclusiveness remains a core value of our company. Some current examples of that support include:

•      Domestic Partner Benefits
•      Sponsorship of Twin Cities Pride
•      Sponsorship of Out & Equal Workplace Summit

In addition, Target’s rating of 100% on the 2009 and 2010 Human Rights Campaign Corporate Equality Index further demonstrates the reputation our company has earned.

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Hey wait a second... last time I checked, Target wasn't THAT conservative. Gregg maybe you can have both sides mad at you at the same time. You can always take a cue from the Episcopal Church and split into two different retailers - TargetPride & TargetPrejudice!

Just walking though the aisles of your store - here's a bunch of stuff you can offend your conservative evangelical shoppers with. Maybe you can create an endcap! Way to alienate everyone equally Gregg!

The Gay Happening - Music CD series

How the Homosexuals Saved Civilization - Book

Gay Republicans - Documentary DVD

Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings Book

Queer as Folk TV Series DVD

The L Word - TV Series DVD

Inside Him - Gay Erotica - Book

High Five

Gary Chapman is our "say it with love" hero! Dr. Gary Demonte Chapman '60 (born 1938) is a relationship counselor and author of the The 5 Love Languages™ series. He is the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. He also has a radio program on marriage and relationships that airs on over 100 stations and can be heard via the internet.

He is a graduate of Moody Bible Institute and holds a Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) degree from Wheaton College and Master of Arts (M.A.) degree in anthropology from Wake Forest University. He also received Master of Religious Education (M.R.E.) and Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D.) degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.

Chapman is also the senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. He joined the staff in 1971 and shares the responsibilities of teaching and family care. He is recognized nationally and internationally as a trusted intellectual Biblical teacher and relationship expert.

He is perhaps best known for his #1 New York Times Best Seller, "Five Love Languages," helping people speak and understand emotional love when it is expressed through one of five languages. Chapman argues that while each of these languages is enjoyed to some degree by all people, a person will usually speak one primary language, but all are important and can be ranked. The book has sold over 6 million copies in English.

He is married to Karolyn J. Chapman. They have two adult children, Shelley and Derek and two grandchildren.

Gary's Five Language concepts are as follows:

Words of Affirmation

Unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward.

Quality Time
Nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved.

Receiving Gifts

The receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.

Acts of Service

Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.”

Physical Touch

A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.

We here at Wheaton Heroes think Gary might have missed a couple languages:

Beer
Nothing says love like a good microbrew. Any spouse who serves up a frosty mug will no doubt be a happier camper. Although, yes, one must know how to drink responsibility. Burp. The care that goes into making each drop of the brew will flow right into your relationship.

A Good Deal
Do you want to endear your spouse forever? Buy something on special, use a coupon or wait til it's on sale. This will show that your love isn't spur of the moment. Your love is well conceived, rational and a good deal for them. Who isn't swept off their feet by a dollar off coupon on febreeze.

Emoticons
Today relationships take place online, over email,  even texting. Your special special might just be someone who loves emoticons. Share your undying love with a yippie face or tongue out goofy flash smile. We know that they will feel truly special. =:))>

Fuzzy Creatures
You know who you are. You don't need a love language assessment. These people know they are appreciated and loved by every single furry creature you bring into their lives. OOOOOwww nothing beats the words "honey meet your new fuzzy wuzzy spotted kitty witty" smooch.

Right now, Wycliffe Translators has sent a team to Paris to uncover the final 8 love languages still to be discovered.

Pulling Rabbits Out of a Hat

Carl Henry is our "presuppositional" hero! Carl Ferdinand Howard Henry '39 (January 22, 1913 – December 7, 2003) was an American evangelical Christian theologian who served as the first editor-in-chief of the magazine Christianity Today, established to serve as a scholarly voice for evangelical Christianity and a challenge to the liberal Christian Century. In college, partly for enjoyment and partly to support himself, he pulled rabbits out of a hat and sawed pretty ladies in two.

After his high school graduation in 1929, he began working in newspaper journalism. While he was not unacquainted with Christianity, his first experience indicating a personal God came as he worked at a weekly newspaper office, proofreading galleys with a middle-aged woman, Mildred Christy. When Henry used Christ's name as a swear word, Christy commented, "Carl, I'd rather you slap my face than take the name of my best Friend in vain."

In 1942 he took part in the launching of the National Association of Evangelicals, serving on its board for several years and being book editor of their magazine United Evangelical Action.

In 1947 he published his first book, a critique entitled The Uneasy Conscience of Modern Fundamentalism, which, while rejecting modern liberalism, and preserving a doctrinal focus on the Bible, also rejected the rigidness and disengagement of Fundamentalists. The book firmly established Henry as one of the leading Evangelical scholars. In the same year, along with Harold Ockenga, Harold Lindsell and Edward John Carnell, he helped establish Fuller Theological Seminary, founded by radio evangelist Charles E. Fuller.

In 1956, with the urging and support of Evangelist Billy Graham, Henry began publication of Christianity Today. He was the magazine's editor until 1968.

In 1978 he signed the Chicago Statement on Biblical Inerrancy, which affirmed Biblical inerrancy. In the early 1980s Henry was a founding board member of the Institute on Religion and Democracy, with which he remained active until the mid-1990s.

Henry's magnum opus was a six-volume work entitled God, Revelation, and Authority, completed in 1983. He concluded "that if we humans say anything authentic about God, we can do so only on the basis of divine self-revelation; all other God-talk is conjectural." In his magnum opus he presented a version of Christian apologetics called presuppositional apologetics.

If Carl were alive today, he would be able to smell out the big news stories of 2011 for Christianity Today. Here's what we think the his big new stories would be: